Title: What happens in Santa Barbara stays in Santa Barbara. (Part One)
Rating: a bit NC-17
Pairing: Jack/Ianto, Shawn/Lassiter
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from either Universe's. Includes merchandise, franchise, collector items, Characters etc.
Summary: “Okay why are we in America again”
Warning: Gwen Bashing, Angst, and Fluffiness
A/N: Written for the crossover challenge for AGA. Yep I decided to write another one to occupy the daylight between the nights. All my mistakes are my own.
Somewhere over the Atlantic;
“Okay why are we in America again”
“We are not in America yet. And for one last time, there have been a few UNIT enquires over a certain somebody having a bit more help on visions from the dead”
“Like a physic?”
“Yes, were you not listening to the brief before we left, oh no wait I forgot you were late”
“Things have been hard since I left Rhys, you understand me when I say it’s been difficult”
“If I remember correctly he left you, after he became immune to the retcon and found out about all your little affairs”
“Jack, Ianto is abusing me, he’s making me upset and I know you hate it when I’m upset” The speaker puckered her lips into a fish like pout and pushing her boobs up into Jack’s line of view.
“Gwen just be quiet and Ianto stop baiting her”
“I’m sorry sir, I will try and contain myself” Ianto drawled back
“Why does the tea-boy have to come, he’s not really any help. And we can have some time by ourselves” Gwen responded in a supposed sexy voice but just sounded like she had a cold
Jack was visibly trying to not laugh at her at Ianto behind her mirroring her words and facial expressions.
“Jack” Gwen inquired with a hand on his arm
“I need his experience in the archives and his cousin lives out here as well”
“Okay, if you say so but we are going to get a bedroom together, it says so, on the Torchwood expense form”
“No Gwen, me and Jack are going to be that room, unless its escaped your notice we are in a relationship” an annoyed Ianto answered instead, Gwen turned around and gave him a weak glare before setter ling back and plugged in headphones to watch the on-flight movie. Jack mouthed a sorry over her head, ‘It wasn’t his fault’ Ianto thought staring down at his engagement ring’ It was their turn to look after her as Owen and Tosh had looked after her when they went to America the last time’ before curling up in his seat and try to sleep the rest of the 4 hours away with Jack smiling fondly at him.
In the hot police station that is in Santa Barbara
“Lassie, Lassie, LASSIE” Shawn yelled through the station, it was a testimony that none of the other policeman/woman didn’t even bat an eyelid at the behaviour at the resident psychic.
Shawn looked around and was nearing the end of the hall before he was pulled into a conference room that had its blinds shut, knowing the smell that was pure masculine Irish Lassiter, Shawn just smiled turned around and proceeded to kiss the hell out of the detective.
“Uhm” A woman’s voice was heard back, Shawn drew back from the lips of his favourite person and looked around the room, Gus sitting there looking oddly pale and slightly green, Jules looking at them with a slight faraway look and the Chief smiling at them.
“Right, now we are all here. I’ve noticed that out of all of you only Jules and Gus have taken enough time off in accordance with police policy, So I’m going to have to give you and Lassiter a week off”
“But, I have a mountain of cases and paperwork”
“No buts detective you will go and have a rest for a week, then you can come back and work again, Jules while be taking your cases”
“Thanks chief” Shawn cried out before dragging Carlton out to the parking lot
“Shawn what the hell?” an angry Lassiter intoned
“It’s a paid week off, I have many plans for this week and lots of pineapple treats” Shawn replied climbing into Carlton’s car, Lassiter sighed and got into the driver’s side.
“The reason I wanted to work this week is because I have my cousin coming over and I didn’t want to be the one to show him around” Lassiter started the car and pulled out the parking lot, instinctively knowing the way to his house.
“Your family is coming over to see you and you don’t want me to meet them” Shawn’s face fell and tears started gathering in his hands “You meet all my family and I even took you to San Francisco to meet my mum” Lassiter parked in his drive-way and turned to Shawn “I love you Shawn, I think I have ever since I brought you in for questioning” taking Shawn’s hand into his own and brought it to his lips in a kiss “I’m not ashamed of you, I never could be but my cousin is in special ops and is very cold to near everyone, plus I think somebody in the station has asked them to investigate you” getting out of the car and pulling a stunned Shawn into the house and locking the door against the world for a few hours until Shawn decided he needed his pineapple fix.
“Gwen, what did you pack?” Jack heaved the suitcase into the Hummer
“Only a few bare essentials” Gwen replied not even helping just looking around in obvious distaste
Ianto snorted and heaved another suitcase of Gwen’s into the back. Getting into the driver side while Jack got in next to him and Gwen got in behind Jack, leaning her head forward so she’s an inch away from Jack’s ear and Ianto was sure that she smelt his hair and sighed happily.
20 minutes later
Ianto pulled up outside a hotel, which looked very appeasing and even Gwen whistled and stared around the luxury of the front area
“Hello, two rooms booked for Ianto Jones”
“Certainly sir, one king-size bedroom and one single bedroom, here are the keys and we have booked you three into dinner tonight”
“Thank you” Ianto smiled his generic smile that most people thought was real except of course Jack and his family
“Well I need to go shopping, if I knew we were coming to this place I would have packed more nicer stuff” Gwen looked at the keys in his hand and took one before strolling over to the lift leaving the bell boy to bring all of her stuff. Jack and Ianto with the bell-boy followed and pressing the button reached out and switched the keys
“The king-size is for me and Jack” Ianto bared his teeth
“Sorry my mistake” Gwen giggled before flashing a glare, while Jack just looked slightly annoyed.
Putting the bags into their room and tipping the guy, Ianto managed to convince Jack that going to find his cousin now is more profitable then both of them making use of the hot-tub. They both walked next door to wake up Gwen, she opened the door in her towel obviously just come out the shower.
“Gwen, we’re going to Ianto’s cousin, you can come now or meet later”
“I will meet later, I mean Ianto’s family properly need to reconnect with him after the damaging things that have happened to him in the last year especially the Lisa thing” Gwen waffled on, Ianto winced and Jack touched the small of his back
“We’ll be off now” Jack said before leading them away, shaking his head while Ianto thought murderous things
30 minutes later
Ianto stood outside his cousin’s door breathed deeply and knocked on the hard wood, Jack wrapped his arm around his waist in a silence gesture of being there.
The door opened wide and a young man with wild dark hair and blue eyes with his shirt off, trousers near hanging off and a trail of love bites leading down from his neck to his stomach stood there
“I think I have the wrong house, I’m looking for Carlton Lassiter” Ianto said and could practically hear the smug smile on Jack’s face.
“Oh your his cousin form Wales, Lassie is just getting dressed” the young man answered before moving back into the house, leaving Ianto and Jack to follow
“Who are you, because you don’t look like his wife” Ianto asked when they all got to the living room
“No, I’m a man and she isn’t around anymore, but anyhow I’m Shawn Spencer, Lassies boyfriend” the man named Shawn replied before moving into the kitchen and from where they were standing opening the fridge and getting out a smoothie which had a pineapple of the side of the cup.
“Ianto” A Irish voice asked
“Carlton” Ianto answered before turning around and seeing his cousin for the first time for 13 years, he was looking good for his age, the black curly hair that seem to plague there family and Ianto till he cut it off and smoothed it out. The green eyes which were same ones he looked through the mirror every morning, the height and the broad shoulders that Ianto’s body hinted at but never grew into.
“You’re looking good”
“As are you”
“Well this couldn’t be any more awkward” Shawn spoke up cutting through the tension that built up
“Yes, well it’s been a few years and we kind of lost contact since my dad died”
“I was in hospital, can’t you ever let it go”
“I forgave a long time ago, but you never visited the grave afterwards, I was 13 and you never even came to see how I was”
“I know and for that I’m sorry, well who have you brought with you” Carlton looked over at Jack, sizing him up
“I’m Captain Jack Harkness and Ianto’s fiancé” Jack held out his hand and after a fashion Carlton shook it and pumped it a few times before they both parted with a nod
“Well if you’re done with your testosterone fight” Shawn was looking between them all
“So let me guess, your here because somebody has ratted me out and said I have alien Technology that makes me see the visions, so that would mean we have a until spy in our mists and you guys are from Torchwood”
“Are you using the Technology” Jack frowned at the young mind, while Carlton was figuring out what Shawn meant and Ianto was looking more or less smug
“You’ll be amazed at the stuff you see when you’re in Mexico and I worked for a few months in your branch in New York, though I’m guessing Ianto knew that” Shawn sprouted some more unaware of the looks he was getting
“I did, didn’t know it was you till you introduced yourself, NY Torchwood didn’t send any photographs of your employment there”
“Well let’s go to dinner, on Lassie, and I will tell you my adventures if you tell me yours”
They were all sitting round the table laughing as Shawn was amusing them with one of his stories, Ianto was leaning slightly into Jack holding his hand when a screech was hear through the restaurant at them
“JACCCKKK” a brown blurb rushed to their table and near flung herself at Jack
“I nearly got bitten by a snake while I was shopping, hold me please” Gwen whispered into his ear. The others could see Jack getting more annoyed as the seconds go on
“Well you should have been going through the shortcut walkway between the shops especially as it says beware of the snakes that run rampant in their”
“I didn’t, and just who the hell are you” Gwen had turned around and stared disgusted at the boy in front of her, while Jack pushed her off onto the seat beside him, as she refused to let go of his hand
“You have a stain on the side of your neck which comes from only a plant from that walkway and a few enclosed gardens around the area. And by the way you still have a tan line on your hand I’m assuming your Fiancée ran away from all the affairs as your personality seems to attract disloyalty”
“You must be Ianto’s family as you seem to be very special and slight dysfunctional in the head, if you ever need somebody to talk to then come to me that’s why Jack keeps me around. I mean with Ianto he really needs to get away from special ops as it’s destroyed him and he doesn’t know how to act in social things” Gwen replied not seeing Carlton’s face melt into anger
“Who are you, you little witch to say things about my family that you don’t even know about, what gives you the right to say something like that and expect to get away with it, you little harlot no wonder your fiancée ran away, also let go of Ianto’s husband to be, he’s not yours and will never be yours. And for your information I’m Ianto’s family” by the end of the tirade Carlton was standing up and Gwen had tears coming down her face, she turned towards Jack
“You’re going to let him speak to me like that, when I’m your one true love”
“Gwen get a grip, you’re not anything more than a team member and that’s all, I love Ianto have always loved Ianto even if I didn’t say it in the beginning” Jack pulled his hand away and leaned into Ianto putting both his hands in Ianto’s grip while the others looked on in a mixture of disgust and amusement at the way Gwen was acting.
“You’ll be sorry” Gwen snarled and ran away crying
“Who is that” Shawn spoke up as Carlton seemed too angry after sitting back down
“Soon to be ex-colleague, we just managed to figure out how much retcon we needed to make her forget” Jack wistfully replied
“Well we will see you tomorrow, I need to take Lassie home and let him work out his anger into something productive” Shawn said, laughing at the way Carlton was still angry but had an embarrassed flush to his cheeks.
“Okay, I need to take Ianto back and do something to cheer him up” Jack replied back smiling
Everybody saying their goodbyes and going their separate ways back to their beds. When an exhausted Ianto laid down on the fluffy bed after him and Jack made full use of the sit-in shower, he couldn’t help worrying about what Gwen was planning, before Jack crawled in and pulled him backwards into his chest, curling his legs between Ianto’s like a giant teddy bear, and both of them falling asleep to the sounds of the waves outside their bedroom window.